First, I want to give a disclaimer before diving into the topic of child-rearing: I am NOT an expert nor do I claim to be an expert at child-rearing. I speak only from experience and the teachings of a great mentor. I also do NOT mean to offend anyone. I merely want to increase awareness about a method that is proving successful for our family. Raising successful children is a full-time job and I always appreciate good advise. Remember, it’s about the big picture. Start small and build upon it. Your kids will appreciate it.
I learned the two-percent theory from Dani Johnson (http://www.danijohnson.com/). If you have no idea what this is, I urge you to check her out! Kudos to Dani! Thank you so much for ALL of your wisdom! We are LIVING the results!
If you want to learn about the 2 percent theory, check this out: http://www.danijohnson.com/2008/98-and-2-percent-how-to-cross-the-line-for-good/
A brief description of the 2 percent theory is this: in everything you do or think, look at what 98% of the population is doing and DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE! 98% of the population will be dead or dead-broke by the age of 65. Don’t be a 98%er. Think and act like a 2 percenter and change the direction your life is headed. This life theory applies financially, personally and professionally and is relative to the way we groom our children. Raising 2-Percenters is not easy, but the rewards are amazing for both you and them! Imagine being raised to know EXACTLY what is expected of you! Imagine being raised to KNOW that you CAN accomplish ANYTHING! Imagine being GROOMED for success!! My husband and I have attended numerous Dani Johnson seminars that groom you for success both financially and in business. When I was pregnant with our daughter, Dani, a mother of five, created the seminar “Grooming The Next Generation for Success”. We attended that seminar and purchased the home study packet, and changed the way we raise our children. If we had not attended that seminar, we would be raising our kids like the 98%ers. Sadly, we, as a society, are NOT prepared nor educated to be parents… The most important job we will ever do! Somehow, traditional education has failed to teach us how to raise our children to be successful. I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW TO RAISE MY KIDS before hearing and learning from Dani. For instance, I did not know that kids WANT TO BE DISCIPLINED! They NEED to be disciplined! They WANT TO KNOW their boundaries. Kids innately WANT TO SUCCEED! Dani teaches you strategies to use on your kids to instill discipline and self-control and raise successful children.
Our kids are VERY well behaved. They listen and OBEY. They know their limit and know they will be disciplined for deliberate disobedience. They are 3 1/2 (Mia) and 22 months (Cash and Roman) and we are not “lucky” and this did not happen by chance. I am tired of people telling us how “lucky we are for having such calm and well behaved children”. Aggggh! This did not happen by chance! This is the result of well thought out parenting! We GROOMED THEM TO BE THIS WAY!
For instance, we ALWAYS prepare our children for what is coming. We always tell them what is on the agenda and HOW THEY WILL BEHAVE. Did you hear me? I will repeat that! We TELL THEM HOW THEY WILL BEHAVE in every circumstance so they will be successful. See, if left on their own, children have no idea what is expected, and therefore, behavior can be disruptive, emotional and confusing with attention-seeking behaviors. This is not tolerated in our house. Patience and self-control are LEARNED behaviors! Did you get that? Patience and self-control HAVE TO BE TAUGHT! My children know how to be patient and can go from hysterical to self-calmed in a three second countdown. REALLY!
I have millions of examples, but for the sake of time and interest, I will give you two.
First, in the car, we ALWAYS prepare them for where we are going and what behavior is expected of them. We have done this with our daughter since she was 1 day old. I know she did not understand what we said when she was a day old, that was to get US in the HABIT of preparing her. You see, neither myself, nor my husband were raised this way, so it was not our habit to do this. It’s NOT because our parents did not love us or did not want to see us succeed. It’s because they were not raised this way and they did not know better.
For instance, on the way to the grocery store, I tell them “kids, we are going to the grocery store. We will be there for about 20 minutes. The faster we get everything on our list, the faster we can get home to have more fun! Who wants to get home for more fun?” (I always get “me”)! “Great, then mommy needs your help. You need to use your inside voice at all times and you need to listen when mommy talks to you. You will not take things off the shelves and you will say please and thank you. Do you understand?” I always make sure that they acknowledge that they understand what is expected of them. They all nod their head or say “yes”. That is very important. If they misbehave while in the store, I quickly remind them of the expected behavior that they agreed to. It rarely happens that I need to remind them.
The reward came a few weekends ago. It had been a busy holiday weekend and we had spent a lot of time in the sun and had done a lot of activities. Everyone was tired. We were headed to a local restaurant for some fresh, local burger. We had not yet prepped the kids on the expected behavior. My husband had just announced we would arrive in 6 minutes and without missing a beat, Mia spoke up: “boys, we are going to a restaurant. You need to stay by mommy and daddy and you need to use you inside voice. You also need to be very patient. Do you understand?”
WOW. ENOUGH SAID! We had all been groomed by a 3 year old!!! THANK YOU Dani!!! She was AMAZING!!!! Yes, we took 3 children under the age of 4 to a restaurant and they were very well behaved!
Yesterday, I was sitting on the front porch with my 22 month old twin boys. It was pouring rain and my daughter was dancing and singing in the rain. While I was totally enjoying the show, Cash was NOT HAPPY and was throwing a two-year-old temper tantrum on the porch. After it was evident this behavior was going to escalate, I told him this behavior is not acceptable and he has 3 seconds to get self-control or he would go inside. Then I counted 3-2-1. At “three” he got control of his body, by “two” he was quiet. By “one” only his lip was quivering. It was an amazing transformation in literally 3 seconds. I did not count slowly. Once calm, I asked him “do you have self control?” He nodded yes. I told him “thank you for honoring me Cash. Great job! Now let’s have some fun!” The moment was forgotten. Did I mention that he is 22 months old? REALLY ! Kudos again Dani!! Kids understand and have the ability to do so much more that we give them credit for! GIVE THEM THE CHANCE TO SUCCEED! They will amaze you!
I want to mention one other thing here. Recently, a friend I had not seen in almost two years was telling the familiar story of how her “two year old cant sit still. He cannot concentrate and he does not listen”. She said she would not have another child because this one is so “difficult”. I urged her to look at his diet. His lack of concentration (yes a two year old should be able to concentrate for a short time) may not be his fault. Sugar and preservatives could be sabotaging his very young, still maturing nervous system. I briefly described the paleo diet and encouraged her to considerate it. A big part of the reason my 22 month old may be ABLE to gain self-control in 3-seconds is because we eat paleo, exercise daily and avoid all sugar and processed foods.
Again, I am not an expert at child rearing and I do not mean to offend anyone. I only want to let you know there is information out there that works! I am not saying this is easy. Consistency is the key with everything you do. Please check out Dani Johnson for more information and ideas.
One more awesome technique: I groomed my daughter to respond with the “right answer” when asked to do something. T he right answer is “I’d be glad to”. People are shocked when they hear this response. Like it just fell out of her mouth! No- I TOLD her what the right answer is so she could succeed. We are in the process of grooming the boys right now. When I tell Mia to brush her teeth… She says, “I’d be glad to mommy”. If she says I’m not ready yet (her occasional answer) my response is “wrong answer, would you like to try that again? I want to see you succeed”. She then answers correctly or she is disciplined.
By the way, these techniques can be started at any age and will be successful. It is just much easier to start on their birth-day!
What do you think about this? Do you have a successful method of disciple? I would love to hear what others think.